Today’s Bloganurary prompt is: What irritates you about the home you live in?
Now, the answer to this prompt is not “my parents,” but the prompt brings up interesting points and experiences for me. So that’s what I’m going to talk about.
I think to adults in this, especially in this economy, moving back in with your parents at an older age is understandable. To many people, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s actually a smart move to some, because you’re saving a lot of your money this way. ALso,to a lot of ethic communities and different nationalities, it’s normal! The act of moving out at 18 and being completely independent is a very western idea, I think.
I was just finishing up my senior year of college and unfourtunately, a lot of the internships and job opportunities I had either gotten or applied for, were canceled because of Covid. It was tough for me. I was ready to move far away and do “big” things but after what had happened with lockdowns, I had to move back in with my parents. It was even harder for me because after high school, I did move out immediately and I had even moved to Asia for 1 1/2 years. After that I lived in another city for school again so I hadn’t lived at home for a long time. Also, in general, I like being on my own and am very independent so at first it was hard. But after being with my parents for almost 2 1/2 years now, I’ve learned a lot. I’m grateful, actually. My parents are getting old too so I really try to make the most out of this time. I’ve matured a lot, I think (I hope). Here are some of the things I learned since moving back in:
it’s just money
Don’t get me wrong, money is incredibly important. We need to pay for almost everything in this world. What I mean is, I’ve learned to not be so greedy. To not be so stingy with my money, especially with my family, friends, and loved ones. Money is a means to an end, not the actual end. Although we should save and be smart with our finances, I had to learn to not be so upset to help pay bills, buy groceries, let people use my car (gas), or let others borrow money.
First of all, I’m in a position where I can help and second of all, they never ask for too much. So why not? I understand if this isn’t the case for some people and their families. Some families may unfairly run you dry, so follow what you think is right. For me, this is it. One reason why I work should be to help my family. Not just to keep my money for the things I selfishly want. It’s been great and rewarding so far.
parents are human
I don’t know about other people, but I think living in a very orthodox Tongan home gave me a certain view of my parents. Like they were top tier, God like people who provided everthing, didn’t make mistakes, or couldn’t be wrong. After living with them as an adult, I’ve noticed they aren’t perfect and they are human, just like me. This isn’t to undermine them. I love this and find this part of them something I’ve really connected to. It’s refreshing and important for me to see it. When I was little they were strict, stoic, and a little scary. Now, they are funny, inquisitive, and chill. This may be because I am older now so they don’t have to worry as much but they could’ve always been like this and I never noticed. It’s helped me think back on my life with a different perspective and a little more empathy.
Parents are just people who work really hard and try their best to raise you (most of them anyways). Raising a human, I imagine, is very hard. I’m very happy I got to learn these things and laugh or conversate with my parents about it. I’m at an age now where I can understand it better as well as properly process the information and choose what I want to do with it. I don’t think I would have understood in high school.
live in the moment
I am someone who constantly daydreams and plans the future. I want a lot of things out of life I guess. I want to do a lot of things and I want to go to a lot of places, etc. My maladaptive daydreaming make me forget about how great everything around me truly is. Utah is great, there is a lot to do here. My family is great, they’ve always loved and cared for me. My job is great and I am really lucky to have it still. My clothes and makeup collection are fine, I am very fourtunate. I don’t need to keep thinking about living a great future when, if I change my attitude, I’ll have it all already. I just learned to stop pining for things and enjoy everything right now.
“comparison is the thief of joy”
Related to the last topic, I learned to stop thinking about what other people are doing with their lives. Sometimes I see that people my age are out getting married, moving into their own places, making a lot of money, living in luxury, etc. and it would upset me. I wanted to do those things! So I would constantly compare myself to those people and just be jealous, bitter, unhappy, etc.
After sometime living with my parents, I became a lot more grounded in important things. There’s an important reality and untouched sense of happiness you can gain from recognizing the normalcy and simplicity of life. I may not be traveling the world or making a lot of money, but I am spending good time with family, I am helping where I am needed, I am meeting normal, hardworking, kind people, I learn new things every day, and I am spending time with myself in my natural and truest form. No glitz or glam, this is me. This is life. This is OK!
I don’t know what anyone elses living situation is and I know it’s not the same for everyone. I am fortunate to have great parents who don’t hoover too much but I know that isn’t always the case for everyone living at home. Hopefully, where ever you are there is something that can be learned. Thanks for reading!
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